The first 13 miles in a marathon are the warm up. After that, it helps to have some distractions. What I've decided to do is to dedicate each mile after the marathon to a person who has helped me get to this point. So, I'll pop some tylenol, grab a GU and some water, and think of you.
Mile 13 - Amin - my first baby brother. You've taught me what it means to REALLY love someone unconditionally. Pain in the ass, best friend, heart breaker and hand holder. This mile is for you. I'll be thinking of your blue eyes, your politically incorrect jokes, and the fact that you travelled hundreds of miles to come home to us and change your life.
Mile 14 - Kaka - You were a jogger before slow folks became runners. I still run in your old school Nike sweatshirt that is as non-technical as a sweatshirt can get. I remember your New Balance and your gigantic headphones as you ran around and around and around the circle in front of our house on the Hospital Grounds in Waterbury (its now a helipad). We ran together when we first moved to Rockland, and you and I did the 5 mile Turkey Trot (my very first race). So what if I got smoked by a 70 year old. I did it. And you were there to encourage me.
Mile 15 - Jen, Brian and Bella - Proof that you can make friends after 30, and they can be amazingly meaningful friendships. I would not have made it through infertility, treatment, and the early days of motherhood without you right there with me. Next time, we won't get fat! Baby Bella Bear is an inspiration each and every minute of each and every day.
Mile 16 - Jasmine and Rosalie, and all the other Miracles we've lost - Jas - your spirit and determination to make your family are amazing. I think of you each day, and pray that Rosalie's baby sister comes into the world with the loudest scream we've ever heard. All the other little ones (including my own baby brother that I'll never know) who we lost too early, I'm thinking of you through this mile.
Mile 17 - Yaaasssssss!! - Littlest of little brothers. Amazingly wonderful and horribly infuriating. You are the true definition of little brother in all its best meanings. I'm gonna get you to run a marathon before I check out of this joint. You know I can get you to do stuff! You are, by far, the best ravioli and fruit tart maker this side of the Mississippi.
Mile 18 - MOMMY! - Obviously, I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for you. I wouldn't be ANYTHING if it weren't for you. You are the alpha and omega of my existence and you've believed in me when I was ready to give up on myself. I love you more than life itself.
Mile 19 - The Fertilethoughts Girls and their Miracles - Because of your generosity, spirit, love and courage. Most of you I've never met, but you reached into your hearts and your pockets and made it impossible for me to give up. We are an unfortunate sisterhood, but we've held each other up through the darkest of days, and we've cheered each other on with every sucess. Is it weird to say I love you to people I've never met in real life?
Mile 20 - ANNABEL!!!! - Seriously, sweet baby girl, if it weren't for you, I'd be planning where I'm going to go for brunch tomorrow! Instead, I'm looking at my t-shirt and wondering how I can put my name on my t-shirt without the paint running, how many tylenol's I should pack and if I should buy a Brooks hat just so I can use the flush port a potties. Yes, because of a pipsqueak 2 year old with lopsided pigtails and a heart made of gold. xxoo times a million
Mile 21 - Heidi, Carl, Sarah, Kate, and my cheering squad upstate - You've been amazing family, generous and kind, to this girl who came from a world apart. You are wonderful grandparents, friends and people we can count on no matter what. I have a sister in law that people could only dream of. Thank you for welcoming me into your lives and into your hearts.
Mile 22 - THE DONORS - I blame you for the hip aches, I blame you for the creaky knees, I blame you for the early mornings and the nervous stomach. It's because of you that I can't give up or I can't quit!! I don't know whether to love you or hate you, but I'm thinking of you all the same. Thank you for making this real. Thank you.
Mile 23 - Yonas and Yacob!! - I don't need to explain. My miracles. My loves. My life.
Mile 24-26.2 - Drue - You get two miles because without you, there would be no run, there would be no Yonas and Yacob, no Heidi, Carl, Jen, Brian, Bella, Donors, Virginia, happiness, sadness, fun, moving, jobs, dumb movies, Fits, min-vans, punk rock, vinyl, Ipod nanos, woody Allen - I need two miles. When I'm finished, I'll be scanning the crowd for you, to tell you I did it! WE did it. Crazy, cockamamie schemes we have - twins, marathons, moving all over god's creation. We do them all. With love.
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